Archive - DocM.A.C. Write Consulting, LLC

Published on: May 14, 2015

Basic Fundamentals Of Nonprofit Storytelling

Terrance Harrington, host of CAN TV's Nonprofits Talk and executive director of Nonprofits Matter, Inc., had me share my expertise on storytelling and how it can potentially propel a nonprofit organization.

Anyone can tell a good story but it takes the WRITE stuff to know how to pen a great one. An essential tool for the nonprofit organization is its utilization of storytelling. I sat down with Terrance Harrington, host of CAN TV's Nonprofits Talk, to provide insight and share basic storytelling fundamentals. For starters, keep these two things in mind:

A) Put the cookies on the bottom shelf

B) Make it do a James Brown by giving that story soul. People love a feel-good article, but, most importantly, they want to feel something. So move them with the message!

Harrington, a Chicago-based entrepreneur with more than 25 years of operational and leadership experience within the military, public and private sectors, is executive director of Nonprofits Matter, Inc. He is also Chief Operating Officer of Sonja B. Norwood Unlimited.

Keep the faith and always trust the process. #OnwardUpward

Published on: May 9, 2015

I'll Always Love My Mama But Somewhat Hate Mother's Day

My mother and I, both educators, were also members of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc., an organization founded by seven teachers. This photo was taken in 2001 at a sorority function in Chicago.

Mom holds baby me in 1967 and adult me at my 1995 going away party in St. Louis. This was the year I relocated to Chicago for my position at Johnson Publishing Company's Jet magazine.

Writing is part of my healing process so here goes. Everyone around me seems to be reveling in the presence of their mom today and will do so on Mother's Day. I feel like I am the only person who is not so lucky. Sure, I want to spend time with my mother, but circumstances will not allow this to happen because Marion Christian, the woman who gave me life, died in 2002.

Each year I never quite know what to do with myself, because I am vague about what kinds of emotions I will endure on this day. I have had some years where everything is fine. Other years the pain is intolerable. I take great care in not turning on the radio in an effort to avoid songs like The Intruders’ I’ll Always Love My Mama, Boyz II Men’s A Song For Mama or 2pac’s Dear Mama. I try to detach myself from all social media since everyone is usually showing off pictures where they are currently hugging, kissing and enjoying their mom’s presence. I am unable to do the equivalent and it makes me feel like a motherless child. Some of you lost your mom this year or in previous years, so I believe you can relate to my grief. You can understand what it is like to taste a steady flow of salt tears on Mother’s Day and other days for that matter. You feel alone as if nobody else in the world can identify with your pain, but deep down inside, you know someone out there is probably wrestling with the same feelings. Folks, there is no expiration date on grief, but it is possible to learn how to cope with the loss of a loved one. You persist in taking it each day and each year, one step at a time.

In fact, I am reminded that a woman named Anna Jarvis understood our pain. She lost her mom in 1905 and vowed at the gravesite how she would make certain people always remember the work her mother did to advance women’s rights as well as honor mothers all over. Jarvis wanted people to never forget the women who gave us life, and because of her diligent efforts to keep her promise while dealing with a death, this gave Jarvis new meaning in life. She is the woman forever recognized in history as the founder of Mother’s Day.

I have mentioned it before and so many of you can attest to how pain sometimes aids a purpose by pushing us into a divine plan. A friend of mine said his mother repetitively spoke to him about finishing college. He kept dragging his feet about it until she died. That’s when it finally hit him and he made a concerted effort to complete school and ultimately went on to earn his bachelor’s degree, master’s degree and doctorate within a 7-year span.

Being the rather inquisitive soul that I am, this Virgo woman questions things often. I started listening to a song a few years ago that captured my thoughts when I did not know how. It is Lenny Kravitz’s Thinking of You, a 1998 tune he wrote for his mother, Roxie Roker, who won fame on TV’s The Jeffersons and died in 1995. I feel him pushing beyond the pain and hear his soul crying out with every word. The lyrics echo my sentiments beautifully. Plus, let's face it. How often do you get to hear someone play green Heineken bottles in the background of a soothing melody?

The record demonstrates Lenny asking his mother questions, saying stuff that I might. Like he asks her if her life is a better change, would she live her life the same or come back and rearrange? He asks her how is freedom? He wonders if she sees the sun night and day. He asks if she hears him and if she misses him like he misses her? To those of you who’ve suffered the loss of your mom, don’t you ruminate about some of these things, too? People, when your mother dies, you join a club where you would much rather deny membership.

I think about B.B. King, fighting for his life, who lost his mother when he was only 9 years old. She never got the chance to see him go from a boy to a man to a music legend, the King of the Blues. I think about Spike Lee who, while in college, lost his mom, Jacqueline Shelton Lee, an English teacher. Spike's 1994 film Crooklyn is semi-autobiographical; it makes me laugh and cry. His mother never got a chance to see her son become a renowned filmmaker or trail in her footsteps as an educator. Many of you might not know this but Spike, a 2013 recipient of the prestigious Gish Prize, earned the distinction of becoming a tenured professor at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts last year. I think about women who were never able to have children. I think about women who lost children or a child and are now alone. I think about people who never knew their biological mother. I think about something as simple as how Lenny fought his mother tooth and nail against wearing a suit and then wearing socks while in one. Now he wears a suit like it's nobody’s business and is acting just like his mom.

Marion Christian’s much-loved song was Billie Holiday’s God Bless The Child. My love for books, movies and music come from her. My mother and I were educators and Sigma Gamma Rho sorority sisters. When I stare in the mirror now that I am older, I see her face, looking back at me. I know she is there in spirit. She was always proud of her "little G" or "Gena." Yes. I might be on my own, but I know that God continues to bless this child and all of us who no longer have our mom. One day, in due season, I hope to not despise Mother’s Day so much. Until then, I will keep listening to my adopted anthem by Lenny. Never take your mother's presence for granted, because one day she won't be around. Let her smell the roses while she is alive.

DocM.A.C. signing off. Keep the faith and always trust the process. #OnwardUpward

Published on: May 7, 2015

Shhh! What People Won't Tell You About A Layoff

No matter how much experience or education you have, no matter how early you arrive or how late you stay at work, no matter how many years you’ve invested, your position can be eliminated at any time without warning. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, as of March, 8.6 million were unemployed. The number of those jobless for 27 weeks or more was 2.6 million, accounting for 29.8 percent of the unemployed. If you or someone you know factors into these figures, you can empathize with the feelings of fright for financial reasons when that check isn’t rolling in weekly, bi-weekly or monthly like clockwork.

We are creatures of habit and bouncing back from life-altering situations require an abundance of patience. Having faith means trusting that everything is working in our favor and in divine order. You might not see it now, but the way the universe works, in due time all things shall be revealed. I spoke with several people and listened to countless stories about how they survived a layoff and how this moment pressed them to redirect their life’s focus. I even know people who walked away from jobs, because they were miserable and had other dreams yet untapped. Their steps, like yours, are being ordered. A few defining moments you might encounter in the meantime could include any one of the following:

Stages Of Grief--Losing a job is a dizzying blow. It is a type of transformative learning that triggers something called a disorienting dilemma, which is a change in life that forces a person to rethink beliefs, values and even identity. Job elimination is like getting a divorce, and the longer you’ve been in that work "relationship," the more complicated it becomes to sever emotional and mental ties. A part of you can even feel like something has died. Never underestimate or ignore your feelings because they are authentic and valuable. Chances are you will eventually experience a tidal wave of emotions most associated with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I often heard people say this, but I never knew it to be true until I was in that situation.

What The Heck Should I Do Next?--I had teaching assignments lined up after I lost my job, but most people don’t have a game plan and are not as fortunate. I heard stories about people being at the same job for 20, 30 or even 40 years. Suddenly they must figure out their next career move after getting sucker punched by a pink slip. Those who are no longer a spring chicken understand that change is not always welcomed. I listened to people mention valid concerns about whether they would land a job because of their age. Others discussed something more basic like not knowing how to start over or where to begin when a former occupation or skill set point to the only things they know. When former NBA star Allen Iverson left the sport, I read a story about how The Answer didn’t have a clue about life after and was so broke he couldn’t even afford a cheeseburger. I heard and read responses like, "He made millions and blew it, so I don’t feel sorry for him. Get a job like everyone else." That's easier said than done. Fear can be crippling and paralyze a person from knowing where to turn. If you’ve grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, it can be tough trying to dig deeper and figure out how to reinvent yourself whether you are the average Joe but especially if you are a person “touched by celebrity,” as I refer to it. I sincerely applaud people like Earvin “Magic” Johnson and Shaquille O’Neal, who always planned for life beyond the NBA while still playing in the league. They figured it out early and realized nothing lasts forever. On the flip side, losing a job is devastating but, believe it or not, sometimes it is not always bad. Quite a few people ended up finding their true calling and purpose in life after getting up in the aired. Sometimes the push out one door will PUSH you into another door that leads to your true purpose.

How Low Can You Go?--I do not think anyone is anxious to find out. When your money is kind of funny, it is not the easiest thing to keep hope alive. Often there's sadness and much depression, which can lead to feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and desperation. The one good thing about having things spiral downward is that there is no place left to go but up. Nothing lasts forever. Things will eventually get better. Just think about the story in the Bible about Job, who had the best of everything, lost it all but kept his faith. For that reason, Job was rewarded, everything was restored and he received more than before. A close friend of mine lost his job on the day we attended the informational session for our doctoral program. You could hear a collective sigh in the room when he introduced himself and told everyone he just lost his job. I will never forget that moment. Since that time, he told me he had to make a choice that day. It was either go home and give up or move forward. He chose the latter and earned a doctorate three years later. Now this man works at the University of Chicago, one of the top institutions in the country.

Fake It Until You Make It--Having confidence and believing in yourself are important, because these qualities will impact your ability to go the distance. Studies have shown that self efficacy, believing in your ability to do well in a situation, can influence your outcome. So, on those days when you aren’t feeling your best, make the most of it and press on!

Share With Others--I can’t tell you how many people I know got a job based on someone they knew at a company. Sometimes we don’t like to tell our story, but you never know who is listening and sincerely willing to help. In fact, a 2012 Federal Reserve Bank of New York study found that folks with referrals were twice as likely to get interviews and 40% more likely to be hired than others. I know a person who went straight old school and handed his neighbor the resume over the back yard fence. This person was employed the following week and is now working full-time at the neighbor’s company. Personal referrals are the No. 1 way to get hired today. Just make sure your referral truly has your best interest at heart, knows your work ethic, and will have something positive to say about you.

You Still Haven't Found A Job?--Some people just do not get it. A great majority of people aren’t working not because they don’t want a job; they can not find a job! Look, these days people are up against 300 or more hopefuls for one position. The longer a person remains unemployed, the more difficult it becomes to get hired. It is always easier to find work when you already have a position. And understand that your high-profile status or income level doesn’t exempt you from hardships, either. There are hundreds of unemployed doctors, lawyers, accountants, teachers, journalists…you name it. One person summed it up best, "When your s*** is on and poppin', you don't have time to think about people you believe don't have their stuff in order." This is the mindset of some people on the other side of unemployment. I know because I used to think this way. I now have compassion whenever I hear about someone losing his/her job. In fact, I know people who made it through a job elimination, landed a new gig, but ended up face-to-face with another layoff a few years later. Folks, please refrain from comments like, "You still haven't found a job?" Or, "With all of that education and experience, you can't find nothing?" Time is the key here.

Finding A Job Is A Full-Time Job--Something people don't reveal is that looking for a job IS like working nine to five. Certain applications take close to two hours to complete because tests might be involved. Be mindful that non-stop rejections or no responses at all can take its toll on a person’s emotions, beliefs, identity, self esteem and confidence. You start to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. The economy is tight and everyone is trying to vie for employment. Once you get an interview, that’s only the beginning. The Journal of Business and Psychology reports the more nervous a person is, the more likely he will speak slowly, which is a true sign of being nervous. Having anxiety or appearing too nervous during an interview, no matter how well qualified you are, can cost you the job, according to a study at Canada’s University of Guelph. Employers want to see how well you can handle pressure. If you can’t even deal with an interview, they might assume you won’t be able to withstand a demanding, fast-paced environment. People also fail to share how there once was a time when you could get a job within weeks or at best even a month, depending upon the profession. Don't be surprised if it now takes you a year or more to get full-time employment. I know a Harvard-educated woman who didn’t work for 2.5 years. Of course, it was not by choice. People cast judgment on her because she was one of the best in her profession, winning accolades for outstanding endeavors. Eventually, this person received a job at a major company.

Friends Rise, Phonies Flee--No truer words were spoken when TLC sang, “What About Your Friends” or Whodini rapped, "Friends. How many of us have them?" People who mean you well, have your best interest at heart and genuinely care about you will reveal themselves. They will help you through this process even when they are dealing with their own issues. Everyone enjoys being around a person during good times and sunny days, but like New Edition once said, "Can you stand the rain?" Dark seasons in life come from out of nowhere and only fair weather friends will flee when they do. One person admitted to abandoning a few friends because of survivor’s guilt. “We worked together,” she explained. “They lost their jobs and I didn’t. I felt bad but didn’t know what to say so I just stayed away.”

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Lose--Your friends and family may be wonderful, but they can only do but so much. You will have to do the rest. Sometimes this means seeking professional counseling or life coaching. There are places where you reside that possibly offer free counseling services, but you will have to do some research to locate them. If you have a church home, speaking with someone there could be a step in the right direction. A mind is a terrible thing to lose. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself, mind and soul.

DocM.A.C. signing off here. Keep the faith and always trust the process. #OnwardUpward

Published on: May 7, 2015

Baby, I'm Back!!!!!!

I have been so busy teaching students how to write that I have not kept my own creative juices flowing.

A year ago this month I learned that the end is really just the beginning turned inside out. My job as Senior Editor for EBONY was eliminated on May 30, 2014. I am thankful that I never abandoned my love for educating others or the desire to instill in them the importance of finding their voice. I always knew I would eventually return to the classroom, which is why I earned a doctorate. I tell my students to write as often as possible because it is therapeutic and can be cathartic. I am now following my own advice and turning my attention to the birth of my baby, DocM.A.C.’s Musings, a blog where I will share my journey since starting anew and navigating my way through this faith walk. You will get a glimpse of my random “soul lessons,” as I call them, covering a range of topics. When the spirit moves me, writing is my response.

During my nearly 20-year career at Johnson Publishing Company, for a decade I studied under the leadership of its founder, pioneering publishing magnate John H. Johnson. In 1995, he personally interviewed me, along with his daughter, Linda Johnson Rice, for a position as an assistant editor at Jet, the weekly news magazine affectionately known as the African-American “Bible.” I was charged with penning stories about celebrities, fashion, relationships, religion, health, education and human interest. A company reorganization took place in 2009 and I was moved to EBONY, the monthly sister publication. I became a senior writer and composed pieces about health but would later handle articles about icons in the section Legend or reflect upon illustrious historical moments in the section Retrospective. No matter what I touched, my deepest desire with every account was to accomplish five things: teach, touch, empower, inspire and uplift readers. That’s what I intend to continue doing here as I carry my torch of tenets to a different platform with my own thoughts.

Writing is my calling. Education is my ministry. Thanks for joining me as the doors of DocM.AC.’s Musings open. Keep the faith and always trust the process. #OnwardUpward