Moving 'Doc' clients in the WRITE direction
DocM.A.C. Write Consulting
  • Home
  • Meet DocM.A.C.
  • Media Blog
  • About Empire
  • Purchase Empire
  • Covers
    • Stories
  • DocM.A.C. Testimonials
  • Contact Dr. Christian

B.B. King Tribute: The Thrill Will Never Be Gone

5/20/2015

2 Comments

 
PictureOur first time meeting during a 2007 luncheon in Chicago.
I am blessed. I worked under the watchful eye of pioneering publishing magnate John H. Johnson and had the good fortune to have met and chronicled the stories of legends. The first time I greeted B.B. King was in 2007 during a luncheon in Chicago. Little did I know then that three years later I would see him again, but this time it would be on his turf—the stage—at Chicago’s House of Blues.

We should give our elders and those who have paved the way for us their flowers while they can see and smell them. Legend was a section in Ebony where our icons could be celebrated, because it was on their backs and shoulders that others are now able to stand. B.B. surely taught the world about music, but what he wanted most was to illustrate the model of a gentleman through his actions and appearance.

He made it no secret how much he longed to see more of his own race support him at concerts. Being Black and playing the blues, he told me, felt like having two strikes already against you. All he ever hoped to do was relieve people of their worries through his music. Have you ever met a person, anybody, who did not experience trouble? This means that person had the blues, and B.B. said that as long as we had troubles, he was going to keep singing the blues. Trials and tribulations were no stranger to the Mississippi native. His burden began at the tender age of 9 years old when his mother suddenly died. An only child, little Riley was left to live alone and work for the Whites who employed his mother. Before going to school each morning, he recalled having to milk 10 cows. Then he had to walk 5 miles to and from the schoolhouse. When he returned home, the cows had to be milked once more. The grueling cycle was continuously repeated. He told me his father did not find him until he was 14 years old, but still B.B. somehow saw the silver lining. “I’ve been pretty lucky,” he said with a smile.

My fortune has been decent as well. Lots of women can claim to have stopped traffic with their arresting looks, but few can boast bragging rights about having an iconic musician delay a sold-out concert because of their mere presence. I heard the music start downstairs in the House of Blues when someone from his camp told him it was time to go on stage. B.B. paused during our conversation, stretched out his left arm and waved his chubby hand, saying in a deep voice, “Stretch it!” I chuckled. A packed house was waiting and he took a few more minutes to enjoy the conversation. The man came back and once again B.B. used the same gesture and told him, “Stretch it!” Before the man could return for a third time, B.B. let me know that he could not keep his audience waiting any longer.

The King of the Blues hit the stage in style. Noted for wearing tuxedos or a three-piece suit, his signature style was his own.
He sought to be portrayed as a gentleman, which is why he hit the stage in a tux and had everyone in his band dress in similar fashion. When we talked that night, I noticed he was wearing a coat. I asked him why. He told me that sometimes he would go on stage with his coat. Before sitting down to play, he would remove it. After his performance ended, someone would bring him his coat and hat to put on before exiting the stage. “This shows the audience that a gentleman did his job and is about to leave the building,” B.B. explained.  It was the cutest thing to see. I guess James Brown leaned more toward the dramatic with a cape and I saw B.B kept it simple with a coat. It was touching to see him stand from his chair at the end of his show, open his arms wide and bask in the cheers, whistles, claps and screams that honored his God-given talent.

Blues singers, he felt, got a bad rap.
B.B. told me how he wanted to dispel the myth that all of them drink and smoke marijuana. He told me he believed his greatest legacy was how he never got into trouble. He did point out that he saw the inside of a jail once and that was for speeding. Another time included when he recorded the 1971 album Live in Cook County Jail. Staying out of trouble was what he hoped young people would learn from him more than anything else.

James Brown was well known as the hardest working man in show business but B.B., who performed in more than 57 countries, gave him a good run for the money as a close second. During B.B.’s heyday, he would play 364 one-night dates. There was a time when his tour schedule was even more aggressive than that when he played 500 shows in 300 cities! The former tractor driver, who had a private, customized tour bus with a television and telephone during the ’60s when others didn’t, used to sometimes drive it himself. After being involved in several accidents with one nearly costing him his right arm, he stopped traveling at night.


It never took him long to learn a lesson because education was important. He read books like Dr. John Hope Franklin’s From Slavery to Freedom and J.A. Rogers’ World’s Great Men of Color. He even became a licensed pilot and told me he had a special place in his heart for Chicago because in 1963 he did his first solo flight across the lake from Chicago Hammond Airport to Joliet. Speaking of education, I recently saw something on social media, questioning the purpose of honorary doctorates. The validity of the honors seemed to really come under attack after one was bestowed upon Grammy Award-winning rapper Kanye West. Ironically, when I spoke to B.B. and I asked about his greatest achievements, he brought up concerns about honorary degrees. Though he was honored by schools as far reaching as Tougaloo College (where he was handed his first) to Yale University, the humble musician told me he “felt ashamed, as if I’m cheating,” for getting the awards. He shared how he was pleased with the recognition but revealed that he only went to the 10th grade. He said here he comes in for one day, a college honors him and he leaves. Students, he said, spent time, money and effort just to earn what he was given.

Everything B.B. was presented, he rightfully earned but didn’t always see it that way. He saw himself as an ordinary guy who could play the guitar a little bit. On the surface, he seemed to have it all, but the lack of support from his own race and not having someone special in his life, seemed to weigh on him a tad bit. He made the most of it as always. He savored every moment he got to spend around a woman and had no shame in his game. Then 84 years young when I saw him, he laid it on the table and told me women were his vice. He thought we were the greatest gifts on the planet and that he never saw an ugly woman for that very reason. Divorced twice by 1968, he never married again. He jokingly told me he was “accused” of having 15 children. Without biting his tongue, B.B. said some he didn't believe were his kids biologically but because he loved them all, he considered them his.

It’s probably lonely at the top and being a musician who traveled as much as he did had its challenges. He explained to me that though he was old, he was really young at heart. The women his age, he thought, wanted to sit on the front porch and drink lemonade. Even if he had time to sit still long enough to indulge them, this would not have interested him. Music clearly was B.B.’s life and he had a burning desire for one lady, Lucille. She was his main squeeze of more than six decades. Love makes you do strange things like the time he ran into a burning building in the mid-50s to get the guitar, which he left once the blaze started. He told me that he wasn’t thinking when he ran back into that building. He described himself as young and foolish. He also said he knew he would not be able to afford another guitar at the time, so he had to get the instrument in order to make a living.


Lucille, the name he eventually called the guitar, was his ride or die chick. She was by his side every night, responding to his strokes. Everyone knows that all solid relationships are based on communication. B.B. and Lucille talked each other’s language and had an understanding. When he sang, she was silent and listened. When he stopped singing, his woman knew it was her time to shine. Lucille’s screams won B.B. such notoriety that his work with her is noted for having revolutionized use of the electric guitar, even earning him the title of third greatest guitarist of all time.

Like most people’s parents, mine were no exception. They loved B.B. King. I told him how I grew up listening to his music and how much I loved The Thrill Is Gone.  But my favorite tune, I let him know, was called Never Make A Move Too Soon. I explained to him, “When people do something too quickly without thinking, I’d tell them, ‘Don’t do a B.B. King and make your move too soon.’” He thought that was so funny and was surprised that I knew the song.


After B.B.’s performance ended, we returned backstage. On the table was a plate with tiny blocks of cheese and banana slices. He told me he eats this combination every night after most shows. He saw my look of concern and laughingly invited me to try the snack before I rushed to cast judgment. I grabbed a block of cheese and slice of banana. I put them together and ate it. To my surprise, this unusual combo was decent. I didn’t get sick and my stomach didn’t start playing the blues. As if giving a lesson, he told me, “I don’t usually drink and if I have something, it’s a Diet Coke after each show because I have diabetes.”

Years later, as his health started to decline, people complained about how little B.B. played and how much time he spent talking at concerts. One person who attended his show a few months ago said the best part of it was his band playing; the worst part was when he came on the stage. I remembered B.B. telling me he would play as long as people wanted to see him. The reality is that, with poor health and visibly more frail, B.B. tried to give it his all until the very end. For this, he should be commended. He told me that after all of his years of performing, he still got stage fright, or, as he called it, “concern,” a term Ray Charles used. B.B. said each new performance felt like he was a cat, sitting in front of a pack of dogs. Talking to the audience, he told me, helped to calm his “concern.” Perhaps his fingers were no longer able to caress Lucille the way he once did, so he talked his way through the concerts.

B.B made his transition on May 14. A part of me was happy to discover that he died peacefully in his sleep. He was a proud man and I’m certain he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see him suffering. He needed rest because he went the distance; B.B. tried to perform when the world saw he was clearly no longer able to do so. A part of me is happy to know that he would finally greet his mother, who last saw him as a 9-year-old boy. He missed his mom and mentioned her to me. I am happy that she will see the man he became and how he lived up to his name as musical royalty.

Some say the thrill is gone, but I don’t believe this. None of us are here forever. My cover photo on Twitter and Facebook always had an image of us long before his health started to decline. Some moments are priceless, so I don’t have any plans to change those pictures. We are spirit and I believe that the spirit never dies. B.B.’s legacy is forever, so the thrill will never be gone because a man named Riley B. King lived.


I met him twice but it felt like I knew him much longer. He was humble and easy to talk with. I will miss his jovial, full face, his patterned tuxedo jackets with bright colors, and the passionate way he made Lucille talk to the audience. A private funeral is scheduled for May 30 in his birthplace of Indianola, MS, while public viewings will take place in Indianola and in Las Vegas where he resided. I won’t be in attendance at anything, but I am fortunate to have done like Eric Clapton and rode with the King, so to speak. I think I will drink a Diet Coke and have a cheese-banana combo snack. Here’s to you, B.B, the orphaned boy from Mississippi, the cotton picker, the man who made certain people of all races never forgot how the blues has given America its soul.

DocM.A.C. signing off here. Keep the faith and always trust the process.  #OnwardUpward


2 Comments

Workplace Bullying Is An 'American Epidemic'

5/14/2015

1 Comment

 
Picture
You read that correctly. Now tell me. Have you ever been assigned a task but realized you didn’t have enough information to complete it but when you asked for what was necessary, you were treated as if you are incompetent? Have you ever worked with someone who undermines your abilities and character through name calling, foul language and yelling at you in front of colleagues? Have surprise meetings been called with no resolve other than further humiliation? Have others been told to stop working, talking or socializing with you? Do you find that most of the work you turn in is suddenly never good enough and you start to feel as if you are being set up to fail? Anyone answer, “Yes.” If so, you have been the target of workplace bullying (workplacebullying.org). You are not alone, which makes this worse.

What is workplace bullying anyway? The Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) defines bullying as “abusive conduct” and workplace bullying as “repeated mistreatment, abusive conduct that is threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, work sabotage or verbal abuse.” WBI calls it an “American epidemic.” The organization’s findings in 2014 report 27 percent of people have current or past direct experience with abusive conduct at work, while 72 percent of employers deny, discount, encourage, rationalize, or defend it. Bosses were found to be the majority of bullies.

Reasons For Bullying--It is basically about control. The WBI provides the following: "The target refuses to be subservient or controlled. The bully envies the target’s competence. The bully envies the target’s social skills, being liked or having a positive attitude. There is a whistleblower retaliation. There is a hostile workplace culture where bullying leads to promotion. The bully simply has a cruel personality or there’s substance abuse involved."

Signs Of Bullying--The WBI provides the following: "Look for departments with high turnover rates or absences. Beware of multiple complaints and grievances against a person, because bullying behaviors are patterned and continue unless consequences are provided for the bully. Look for departments where employee response to management’s assessments of employees is consistently refuted by a number of different workers."

Alexandra Robbins recently wrote an article on how most nurses have been the victims of bullying by doctors. The article, Doctors Throwing Fits, highlighted the findings in her new book, The Nurses: A Year of Secrets, Drama, and Miracles with the Heroes of the Hospital, which follows four nurses, but includes hundreds of interviews by others across the country. They discuss many things, including the hardest part about their job in dealing with bully doctors. Dr. Pauline W. Chen first raised awareness about bullying in the medical profession with her New York Times article, The Bullying Culture of Medical School, published in 2012. This news might come as a shocker for some of you, but it was not for me.


Last year while presenting my dissertation at the 55th Annual AERC Adult Education Research Conference at Penn State Harrisburg, I attended the session Workplace Bullying: Implications for Adult Educators, presented by Dr. Kathy Bonnar, assistant professor of counselor education at Concordia University Chicago, and Dr. Judy L. Skorek, program director, clinical mental health counseling at Adler School of Professional Psychology (Chicago). When Bonnar and Skorek revealed the top two professions that face the most workplace bullying, people were somewhat surprised. Can you guess them? The medical profession ranked No. 1 and education ranked No. 2.  Government workers, according to a 2014 CareerBuilder study on bullying, were “nearly twice as likely to report being bullied (47 percent) than those in the corporate world (28 percent).”

Who Is The Bully?--The WBI provides the following description: "Someone who tries to dominate another in every encounter. They usually rank above the target and it doesn’t matter his/her background, status or position. There’s an inability to deal with his/her own feelings of inadequacy and self loathing that has nothing to do with the behavior of the target. Deep-seated flaws are unleashed on the target before attack and the bully has no reason to empathize with the plight of his/her target so the bully continues because she/he can."


Always keep your eyes open because bullies are manipulative serpents. These people will block a transfer to a different department and/or attempt to set up conflict between you and your colleagues. Dr. George K. Simon's book, In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding & Dealing with Manipulative People,  explains how bullies do things like taking credit for others work, lying about targeted employees performance to others that are higher ups, attempting to manipulate or monopolize the target’s higher ups perceptions through lies and isolation, shaming, marginalizing, maligning, degrading and finding constant fault. It doesn’t matter where you are employed. Bullies are on the prowl and lurk in most every profession.

I read a profile story recently about someone that made me cringe. It was beautifully written, yet sadly painted the portrait of a textbook-classic model of a bully.  People were abuzz about the article for a minute but things soon quieted down.  What saddens me most about the article is that nothing will probably happen to this person. Bullies never take responsibility for their action and are sometimes, it appears, given a license to behave the way they do because no one seems to confront them. Employers must realize how bullying makes the workplace toxic for everyone. The truth, however, can hurt so many choose to look the other way. We all know that bullying takes place as much as it is allowed in a company’s culture. Bullies knowingly make a conscious choice to target and ultimately control another. Control, once again, is the operative word here.


Who Is The Target?--The WBI provides the following: "The target has a strong sense of integrity and justice. This person is courageous and isn’t afraid of the bully. The target tends to see things for how they could be and are discouraged when the unnecessary and counterproductive needs and insecurities of a bully frustrate workplace productivity."

Targets of bullies have paid dearly for standing up to these folks, because the abuse doesn’t simply wreak havoc on a person’s life at work. The stress goes home and can lead to depression and/or anxiety disorders such as panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder. CareerBuilder’s study on bullying showed 28 percent of workers have felt bullied, while 19 percent cave in to the pressure and go so far as to quit their job. Most bullies may be the boss, but some co-workers have played an integral role in the shenanigans. These people I refer to as sidekick imps. Reports have overwhelmingly shown that co-workers know of their targeted fellow colleagues but say nothing. These people don’t realize how much silence is just as problematic.

Bully-prone places of employment, according to research, hope to instill fear in its employees. “Executives give higher priority to personal friendships than the legitimate interests of the business,” says Dr. Gary Namie, director of the WBI, in the journal article Workplace Bullying: Escalated Incivility.

Bullying Comes With A Price--Bullies impact the bottom line and everyone pays for it. There are costs associated with employee attribution and unemployment benefits, because people who are trained and experienced leave the organization. There’s also low employee morale-lost incentive, according to Good Employers Purge Bullies, Bad Ones Promote Them, Schaef & Fassel, The Addictive Organization (1988). Organizational loses include “costs associated with high absenteeism, stress related illnesses, high employment turnover and lawsuits,” according to Liz Urbanski Farrell's 2002 article, Workplace Bullying’s High Cost: $180M In Lost Time & Productivity.

How Do I Make It Stop?

  • Nip things in the bud. The study conducted by CareerBuilder showed 48 percent of the workers confronted the bully. Forty-five percent said the bullying stopped, 44 percent said nothing changed and 11 percent said it got worse.

  • Put the power of prayer on it. I know a target who prayed for the bully and not even a week later, that person left the company. The bully was so focused on making everyone else’s life unhappy that little effort was placed on trying to learn the job or get it done correctly.

  • Find a support system. Once again, co-workers know who is being bullied. I know another person who was bulled and explained how words of encouragement helped this person make it through. “Never let them see you sweat,” is what the person was constantly told. Bullies sometimes get a sick satisfaction out of making someone else’s life just as miserable as their own. Putting down another appears to build the bully’s own insecurities and low self esteem. Don’t give the bully the satisfaction of seeing that she/he is getting to you. That’s what that person wants. It’s all about control.

  • Report the bully. Targets of bullying are often encouraged to tell their Human Resources (HR) department, but the CareerBuilder study learned that one-third reported the bullying to HR with 58 percent revealing no action was taken. Don’t despair. There are places where HR takes these sort of allegations seriously. I know of a target who reported a bully to HR and the foolishness stopped. The target said the bully and the imp, both confronted by HR, ran with their tails tucked between their legs.

  • Take copious notes and detail incidents. This might work for you or against you. Some people have seemingly laid a bully out on a silver platter for HR to handle, yet the tables were turned on the target, who was later shown the door while the bully remained at the company to terrorize others.

Bullying in the workplace hurts everyone and will continue unless employers truthfully examine their culture to see how they might be contributing to the problem. The first step toward healing is through honesty.
Visit workplacebullying.org for more information.

DocM.A.C. signing off. Keep the faith and always trust the process.  #OnwardUpward


Recommended Reading:
The Bully-Free Workplace: Stop Jerks, Weasels And Snakes From Killing Your Organization (2011) by Gary Namie, Ph.D. and Ruth Namie, Ph.D.

The Bully At Work: What You Can Do To Stop The Hurt And Reclaim Your Dignity On The Job (2000, 2003, 2009) by Gary Namie, Ph.D. and Ruth Namie, Ph.D.


 

 

 

 


Picture
1 Comment

Basic Fundamentals Of Nonprofit Storytelling

5/14/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
Terrance Harrington, host of CAN TV's Nonprofits Talk and executive director of Nonprofits Matter, Inc., had me share my expertise on storytelling and how it can potentially propel a nonprofit organization.
Anyone can tell a good story but it takes the WRITE stuff to know how to pen a great one. An essential tool for the nonprofit organization is its utilization of storytelling. I sat down with Terrance Harrington, host of CAN TV's Nonprofits Talk, to provide insight and share basic storytelling fundamentals. For starters, keep these two things in mind:

A) Put the cookies on the bottom shelf

B) Make it do a James Brown by giving that story soul. People love a feel-good article, but, most importantly, they want to feel something. So move them with the message!

Harrington, a Chicago-based entrepreneur with more than 25 years of operational and leadership experience within the military, public and private sectors, is executive director of Nonprofits Matter, Inc. He is also Chief Operating Officer of Sonja B. Norwood Unlimited.


Keep the faith and always trust the process. #OnwardUpward

0 Comments

I'll Always Love My Mama But Somewhat Hate Mother's Day

5/9/2015

6 Comments

 
Picture
My mother and I, both educators, were also members of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc., an organization founded by seven teachers. This photo was taken in 2001 at a sorority function in Chicago.
Picture
Mom holds baby me in 1967 and adult me at my 1995 going away party in St. Louis. This was the year I relocated to Chicago for my position at Johnson Publishing Company's Jet magazine.
Writing is part of my healing process so here goes. Everyone around me seems to be reveling in the presence of their mom today and will do so on Mother's Day. I feel like I am the only person who is not so lucky. Sure, I want to spend time with my mother, but circumstances will not allow this to happen because Marion Christian, the woman who gave me life, died in 2002.

Each year I never quite know what to do with myself, because I am vague about what kinds of emotions I will endure on this day. I have had some years where everything is fine. Other years the pain is intolerable. I take great care in not turning on the radio in an effort to avoid songs like The Intruders’ I’ll Always Love My Mama, Boyz II Men’s A Song For Mama or 2pac’s Dear Mama.  I try to detach myself from all social media since everyone is usually showing off pictures where they are currently hugging, kissing and enjoying their mom’s presence. I am unable to do the equivalent and it makes me feel like a motherless child. Some of you lost your mom this year or in previous years, so I believe you can relate to my grief. You can understand what it is like to taste a steady flow of salt tears on Mother’s Day and other days for that matter. You feel alone as if nobody else in the world can identify with your pain, but deep down inside, you know someone out there is probably wrestling with the same feelings. Folks, there is no expiration date on grief, but it is possible to learn how to cope with the loss of a loved one. You persist in taking it each day and each year, one step at a time.

In fact, I am reminded that a woman named Anna Jarvis understood our pain. She lost her mom in 1905 and vowed at the gravesite how she would make certain people always remember the work her mother did to advance women’s rights as well as honor mothers all over. Jarvis wanted people to never forget the women who gave us life, and because of her diligent efforts to keep her promise while dealing with a death, this gave Jarvis new meaning in life. She is the woman forever recognized in history as the founder of Mother’s Day.

I have mentioned it before and so many of you can attest to how pain sometimes aids a purpose by pushing us into a divine plan. A friend of mine said his mother repetitively spoke to him about finishing college. He kept dragging his feet about it until she died. That’s when it finally hit him and he made a concerted effort to complete school and ultimately went on to earn his bachelor’s degree, master’s degree and doctorate within a 7-year span.

Being the rather inquisitive soul that I am, this Virgo woman questions things often.  I started listening to a song a few years ago that captured my thoughts when I did not know how. It is Lenny Kravitz’s Thinking of You, a 1998 tune he wrote for his mother, Roxie Roker, who won fame on TV’s The Jeffersons and died in 1995. I feel him pushing beyond the pain and hear his soul crying out with every word. The lyrics echo my sentiments beautifully. Plus, let's face it. How often do you get to hear someone play green Heineken bottles in the background of a soothing melody?

The record demonstrates Lenny asking his mother questions, saying stuff that I might. Like he asks her if her life is a better change, would she live her life the same or come back and rearrange? He asks her how is freedom? He wonders if she sees the sun night and day. He asks if she hears him and if she misses him like he misses her? To those of you who’ve suffered the loss of your mom, don’t you ruminate about some of these things, too? People, when your mother dies, you join a club where you would much rather deny membership.

I think about B.B. King, fighting for his life, who lost his mother when he was only 9 years old. She never got the chance to see him go from a boy to a man to a music legend, the King of the Blues. I think about Spike Lee who, while in college, lost his mom, Jacqueline Shelton Lee, an English teacher. Spike's 1994 film Crooklyn is semi-autobiographical; it makes me laugh and cry. His mother never got a chance to see her son become a renowned filmmaker or trail in her footsteps as an educator. Many of you might not know this but Spike, a 2013 recipient of the prestigious Gish Prize, earned the distinction of becoming a tenured professor at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts last year. I think about Amy DuBois Barnett, my former Editor-in-Chief at Ebony magazine, who lost her mother, Dr. Marguerite Ross Barnett, in 1992. Dr. Barnett made history in 1990 as the first Black woman to head a major American University, the University of Houston, and was lauded in a 1991 Ebony as a pioneer. She never got to see her only child helm the iconic publication in 2010. I think about women who were never able to have children. I think about women who lost children or a child and are now alone. I think about people who never knew their biological mother. I think about something as simple as how Lenny fought his mother tooth and nail against wearing a suit and then wearing socks while in one. Now he wears a suit like it's nobody’s business and is acting just like his mom.

Marion Christian’s much-loved song was Billie Holiday’s God Bless The Child. My love for books, movies and music come from her. My mother and I were educators and Sigma Gamma Rho sorority sisters. When I stare in the mirror now that I am older, I see her face, looking back at me.  I know she is there in spirit. She was always proud of her "little G" or "Gena." Yes. I might be on my own, but I know that God continues to bless this child and all of us who no longer have our mom. One day, in due season, I hope to not despise Mother’s Day so much. Until then, I will keep listening to my adopted anthem by Lenny. Never take your mother's presence for granted, because one day she won't be around. Let her smell the roses while she is alive.

DocM.A.C. signing off. Keep the faith and always trust the process.  #OnwardUpward

6 Comments

Shhh! What People Won't Tell You About A Layoff

5/7/2015

1 Comment

 

Picture

No matter how much experience or education you have, no matter how early you arrive or how late you stay at work, no matter how many years you’ve invested, your position can be eliminated at any time without warning. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, as of March, 8.6 million were unemployed. The number of those jobless for 27 weeks or more was 2.6 million, accounting for 29.8 percent of the unemployed.  If you or someone you know factors into these figures, you can empathize with the feelings of fright for financial reasons when that check isn’t rolling in weekly, bi-weekly or monthly like clockwork.

We are creatures of habit and bouncing back from life-altering situations require an abundance of patience.  Having faith means trusting that everything is working in our favor and in divine order. You might not see it now, but the way the universe works, in due time all things shall be revealed.
I spoke with several people and listened to countless stories about how they survived a layoff and how this moment pressed them to redirect their life’s focus. I even know people who walked away from jobs, because they were miserable and had other dreams yet untapped. Their steps, like yours, are being ordered. A few defining moments you might encounter in the meantime could include any one of the following:

Stages Of Grief--Losing a job is a dizzying blow. It is a type of transformative learning that triggers something called a disorienting dilemma, which is a change in life that forces a person to rethink beliefs, values and even identity. Job elimination is like getting a divorce, and the longer you’ve been in that work "relationship," the more complicated it becomes to sever emotional and mental ties. A part of you can even feel like something has died. Never underestimate or ignore your feelings because they are authentic and valuable. Chances are you will eventually experience a tidal wave of emotions most associated with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I often heard people say this, but I never knew it to be true until I was in that situation.

What The Heck Should I Do Next?--I had teaching assignments lined up after I lost my job, but most people don’t have a game plan and are not as fortunate. I heard stories about people being at the same job for 20, 30 or even 40 years. Suddenly they must figure out their next career move after getting sucker punched by a pink slip. Those who are no longer a spring chicken understand that change is not always welcomed. I listened to people mention valid concerns about whether they would land a job because of their age. Others discussed something more basic like not knowing how to start over or where to begin when a former occupation or skill set point to the only things they know. When former NBA star Allen Iverson left the sport, I read a story about how The Answer didn’t have a clue about life after and was so broke he couldn’t even afford a cheeseburger. I heard and read responses like, "He made millions and blew it, so I don’t feel sorry for him. Get a job like everyone else." That's easier said than done. Fear can be crippling and paralyze a person from knowing where to turn. If you’ve grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, it can be tough trying to dig deeper and figure out how to reinvent yourself whether you are the average Joe but especially if you are a person “touched by celebrity,” as I refer to it. I sincerely applaud people like Earvin “Magic” Johnson and Shaquille O’Neal, who always planned for life beyond the NBA while still playing in the league.  They figured it out early and realized nothing lasts forever. On the flip side, losing a job is devastating but, believe it or not, sometimes it is not always bad. Quite a few people ended up finding their true calling and purpose in life after getting up in the aired. Sometimes the push out one door will PUSH you into another door that leads to your true purpose.

How Low Can You Go?--I do not think anyone is anxious to find out. When your money is kind of funny, it is not the easiest thing to keep hope alive. Often there's sadness and much depression, which can lead to feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and desperation. The one good thing about having things spiral downward is that there is no place left to go but up. Nothing lasts forever. Things will eventually get better.  Just think about the story in the Bible about Job, who had the best of everything, lost it all but kept his faith. For that reason, Job was rewarded, everything was restored and he received more than before. A close friend of mine lost his job on the day we attended the informational session for our doctoral program. You could hear a collective sigh in the room when he introduced himself and told everyone he just lost his job. I will never forget that moment. Since that time, he told me he had to make a choice that day. It was either go home and give up or move forward. He chose the latter and earned a doctorate three years later. Now this man works at the University of Chicago, one of the top institutions in the country.


Fake It Until You Make It--Having confidence and believing in yourself are important, because these qualities will impact your ability to go the distance. Studies have shown that self efficacy, believing in your ability to do well in a situation, can influence your outcome. So, on those days when you aren’t feeling your best, make the most of it and press on!

Share With Others--I can’t tell you how many people I know got a job based on someone they knew at a company. Sometimes we don’t like to tell our story, but you never know who is listening and sincerely willing to help. In fact, a 2012 Federal Reserve Bank of New York study found that folks with referrals were twice as likely to get interviews and 40% more likely to be hired than others. I know a person who went straight old school and handed his neighbor the resume over the back yard fence. This person was employed the following week and is now working full-time at the neighbor’s company. Personal referrals are the No. 1 way to get hired today. Just make sure your referral truly has your best interest at heart, knows your work ethic, and will have something positive to say about you.

You Still Haven't Found A Job?--Some people just do not get it. A great majority of people aren’t working not because they don’t want a job; they can not find a job! Look, these days people are up against 300 or more hopefuls for one position. The longer a person remains unemployed, the more difficult it becomes to get hired. It is always easier to find work when you already have a position. And understand that your high-profile status or income level doesn’t exempt you from hardships, either. There are hundreds of unemployed doctors, lawyers, accountants, teachers, journalists…you name it. One person summed it up best, "When your s*** is on and poppin', you don't have time to think about people you believe don't have their stuff in order." This is the mindset of some people on the other side of unemployment. I know because I used to think this way. I now have compassion whenever I hear about someone losing his/her job.  In fact, I know people who made it through a job elimination, landed a new gig, but ended up face-to-face with another layoff a few years later. Folks, please refrain from comments like, "You still haven't found a job?" Or, "With all of that education and experience, you can't find nothing?" Time is the key here.


Finding A Job Is A Full-Time Job--Something people don't reveal is that looking for a job IS like working nine to five. Certain applications take close to two hours to complete because tests might be involved. Be mindful that non-stop rejections or no responses at all can take its toll on a person’s emotions, beliefs, identity, self esteem and confidence. You start to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. The economy is tight and everyone is trying to vie for employment. Once you get an interview, that’s only the beginning. The Journal of Business and Psychology reports the more nervous a person is, the more likely he will speak slowly, which is a true sign of being nervous. Having anxiety or appearing too nervous during an interview, no matter how well qualified you are, can cost you the job, according to a study at Canada’s University of Guelph. Employers want to see how well you can handle pressure. If you can’t even deal with an interview, they might assume you won’t be able to withstand a demanding, fast-paced environment. People also fail to share how there once was a time when you could get a job within weeks or at best even a month, depending upon the profession. Don't be surprised if it now takes you a year or more to get full-time employment. I know a Harvard-educated woman who didn’t work for 2.5 years. Of course, it was not by choice. People cast judgment on her because she was one of the best in her profession, winning accolades for outstanding endeavors. Eventually, this person received a job at a major company.

Friends Rise, Phonies Flee--No truer words were spoken when TLC sang, “What About Your Friends” or Whodini rapped, "Friends. How many of us have them?" People who mean you well, have your best interest at heart and genuinely care about you will reveal themselves. They will help you through this process even when they are dealing with their own issues. Everyone enjoys being around a person during good times and sunny days, but like New Edition once said, "Can you stand the rain?" Dark seasons in life come from out of nowhere and only fair weather friends will flee when they do. One person admitted to abandoning a few friends because of survivor’s guilt. “We worked together,” she explained. “They lost their jobs and I didn’t. I felt bad but didn’t know what to say so I just stayed away.”

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Lose--Your friends and family may be wonderful, but they can only do but so much. You will have to do the rest. Sometimes this means seeking professional counseling or life coaching. There are places where you reside that possibly offer free counseling services, but you will have to do some research to locate them. If you have a church home, speaking with someone there could be a step in the right direction. A mind is a terrible thing to lose. Love yourself enough to take care of yourself, mind and soul.

DocM.A.C. signing off here. Keep the faith and always trust the process.  #OnwardUpward




Picture
1 Comment

Baby, I'm Back!!!!!!

5/7/2015

4 Comments

 
Picture

I have been so busy teaching students how to write that I have not kept my own creative juices flowing.

A year ago this month I learned that the end is really just the beginning turned inside out. My job as
Senior Editor for EBONY was eliminated on May 30, 2014. I am thankful that I never abandoned my love for educating others or the desire to instill in them the importance of finding their voice. I always knew I would eventually return to the classroom, which is why I earned a doctorate. I tell my students to write as often as possible because it is therapeutic and can be cathartic. I am now following my own advice and turning my attention to the birth of my baby, DocM.A.C.’s Musings, a blog where I will share my journey since starting anew and navigating my way through this faith walk. You will get a glimpse of my random “soul lessons,” as I call them, covering a range of topics. When the spirit moves me, writing is my response.

During my nearly 20-year career at Johnson Publishing Company, for a decade I studied under the leadership of its founder, pioneering publishing magnate John H. Johnson. In 1995, he personally interviewed me, along with his daughter, Linda Johnson Rice, for a position as an assistant editor at Jet
, the weekly news magazine affectionately known as the African-American “Bible.” I was charged with penning stories about celebrities, fashion, relationships, religion, health, education and human interest. A company reorganization took place in 2009 and I was moved to EBONY, the monthly sister publication. I became a senior writer and composed pieces about health but would later handle articles about icons in the section Legend or reflect upon illustrious historical moments in the section Retrospective. No matter what I touched, my deepest desire with every account was to accomplish five things: teach, touch, empower, inspire and uplift readers. That’s what I intend to continue doing here as I carry my torch of tenets to a different platform with my own thoughts.

Writing is my calling. Education is my ministry. Thanks for joining me as the doors of DocM.AC.’s Musings open. Keep the faith and always trust the process. #OnwardUpward



 


4 Comments

    Archives

    November 2022
    September 2022
    June 2022
    November 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    January 2017
    September 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    January 2016
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015

    DocM.A.C.'s  Musings

    I am Dr. Margena A. Christian aka DocM.A.C. Some folks feel my way with words, so I thought I would drop a few random "soul lessons" with a little bit of this and a whole lot of that. Keep the faith and always trust the process.
     #OnwardUpward

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

    Tweets by DrMargenaXan
©2023  DocM.A.C. Write Consulting. All Rights Reserved.